SOCRATES: Why does your drawer have all of these things you haven’t used in 5 years?
YOU: Those things might come in useful someday.
SOCRATES: 12 dried-out Sharpies, 11 bent paper clips, 10 loyalty cards, 9 dead batteries, 8 rubber bands, 7 keys of unknown use, 6 boxes of staples, 5 broken cords, 4 calling cards, 3 empty lip balms, 2 AOL disks, and a screen protector for a phone you no longer have.
YOU: Christmas is over. What’s with the 12 days of Christmas riff?
SOCRATES: This is your drawer, not mine. Why don’t you get rid of this stuff?
YOU: I paid good money for this stuff.
SOCRATES: So what?
YOU: It would be financially irresponsible to just get rid of them.
SOCRATES: Being financially responsible is important to you?
YOU: Yes.
SOCRATES: Does that mean you have set aside a generous rainy day fund?
YOU: No.
SOCRATES: I see. Does that mean you have been making large contributions to your retirement accounts?
YOU: Umm. No.
SOCRATES: Does that mean you are avoiding consumer debt such as carrying credit card balances or car loans?
YOU: Ummm. No.
SOCRATES: Tell me. What does financial responsibility mean to you other than holding onto stupid useless crap you don’t need?
YOU: Ummm.
SOCRATES: Answer the question.
YOU: Ummm. Buying more stupid useless crap at really great sale prices?
SOCRATES: Why do you call buying stupid useless crap and keeping stupid useless crap being financially responsible?
YOU: Ummm.
SOCRATES: Here. You need a drink.
YOU: Hemlock IPA?!?!? That would kill me. I have no use for this stuff.
SOCRATES: Looking at your junk drawer, I see you like to hold onto things you have no use for. Drink up!
Very entertaining and so true!! What a great read. Thanks for sharing!
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Thanks. Some explanations as to why we cling to certain things sound so reasonable inside our own heads, but when we share them out loud, we can see how ridiculous they sound.
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Reblogged this on Finding Myself Through Writing and commented:
This is so true and gave me a much needed laugh today! Who doesn’t have a junk drawer? ~Elle
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